Ollie's Blog is open...

I'll be posting more soon!

No news (again)!

I'm sorry I didn't post sooner- but I've been in bed all day with a very terrible headache. I've been suffering from awful head/neck aches for the last couple of weeks- it's awful. I don't know if it's the change in hormones or if it's due to one of two falls I had a couple weeks ago (once pushing Ollie on the big wheel & once I stumbled down the stairs a little).

Anyway, the baby's legs were crossed the whole time again! I'm so disappointed! But having a healthy baby is really what matters most. I may know next week, though- we'll see!

Thanks for all the good wishes & compliments! :)

Sophie Lu's Easter 2008!

This was Ollie's first Easter with us, and it's so hard to believe that it was Sophie Lu's third Easter! Both Sophie and Ollie enjoyed a long weekend visit from their cousins, but poor Ollie was sick and not too smiley. I'll post more photos to his blog as soon as I can find the time to reopen it. (And I think this is the first photo of me with my pregnant belly!)

I love my girl so very much! The photo above was taken with my Nikon D40x and the one below was taken with my new smaller/lower end camera- Kodak Easyshare Z712IS (fast for a point/click AND with 10x zoom so you can get the blurry background if you zoom in close- but the photo quality isn't as good so I really had to adjust the brightness, contrast, etc. in the photo below a lot.)

................. Sophie Lu and her cousin Alicia (almost 5)...

This photo cracks me up! I raised my hand up (trying to get their attention) and they both thought they were supposed to raise their hands up too! (oops, I guess Sophie's basket was a little too big, huh?) lol

We hid almost 400 candy filled plastic eggs in our yard, and we thought we had found them all... until we saw Sammy the squirrel running across the grass and up a tree with a bright pink egg in his mouth! We couldn't believe it! :)

Fun w/ Photoshop (CS2) Actions (no baby news yet)

Sophie Lu's glasses broke yesterday(her 1st pair was already broken- they break a lot- the one lens is very thick and pops out of the frames often), so while waiting for her appointment, I took her outside for a little St. Patrick's Day photo shoot! Then I did some fun experimenting with Photoshop CS2 photo actions. In most cases, I prefer the originals- but experimenting is so much fun!

............................................Original photo

I used a Photoshop Action called Editorial for the photo above. I did make slight adjustments to it though.

For this photo (above) I used an action called "Just a Little Wash" by NinaScraps Design.

.............................................Original Photo

Again, I used Nina's "Just a Little Wash" for this one.

Orignial photo

Photo w/ "Just a Little Wash"... This is one of my favorites and a good example of how this particular action produces different results on each photo (I found most to be too washed out).


..........................................Orignial photo

I used "Tracy's Fill Flash" for this one. This action uses a mask so you can paint where you want to lighten the photo- very useful (but I forgot where I got it)...

This is my other favorite! I used Editorial Lomo by Addicted to Design for this photo.

This action is Sheri's Color Sketch. Kind of interesting...

....................This action is called Aly's Vintage Canvas.

This action is also by Addicted to Design- it's called "Infrared".

Orignial photo (above)

.......................... With Tracy's Fill Flash action

........................................ Original photo

................""Editorial Lomo" (Saturation adjusted a lot)

For this photo, I played one step of Nina's "Just a Little Wash" action at a time- adjusting as I went. On one of the layers, I was able to paint to erase some of the effect to bring out the color of the flowers and lips. And below are some of my other favorites from yesterday! :)

I'm having fun with Photoshop Actions- especially when I figure out how to make adjustments to them! I have actions from AddictedtoDesign.com and atncentral.com, but does anyone else know of any other great places to find actions?

(Today's OB appointment went well, but since I have a high-level ultrasound scheduled with my perinatologist on the 28th- he didn't do the ultrasound today! So I guess I'll have to wait another week and 1/2 to find out if it's a boy or a girl! )

Thank you, Sophie's new "do", and answers to questions

Sophie Lu's beauty always takes my breath away- I love this photo because you can really see how deep and pretty her eyes are...

This is Sophie Lu's new hairdo of choice (we call it the "Palm Tree")! I can never get enough of her cuteness!

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your sweet comments and emails of congratulations on my pregnancy! I know some people probably wondered why I put myself out there and shared so much personal information. I guess I've had so many people ask about my story, and for some reason I've never been bashful about discussing my miscarriages, etc. Also, I was getting very tired of hearing, "See... it always happens this way- as soon as you decide to adopt, you get pregnant!" I even heard this from people who know me and KNOW adopting from China was my first choice and that getting pregnant was never the problem (keeping the pregnancy was.) I just don't know why people always want to say that... I suppose I just don't like it when people generalize or make assumptions about my choices or how my children are brought into my life. Anyway, I feel better now, and I'm so glad to "meet" so many other families who have children both through adoption and biology- especially those who went "bio" after adopting, as I know there must certainly be issues that will arise specific to this scenerio.

So here are some answers to the questions I saw most often in the comments (let me know if I forgot any):

1. Have you told Sophie? Yes, we have recently told Sophie Lu that she will have a new baby brother or sister. She says she wants a baby sister because she already has a baby brother! We haven't, however, explained to her that the baby is in Mommy's tummy. It makes my cry just thinking of this conversation. I know my daughter very well, and I know what her response would sound like. Every time she sees a baby doing something, she says, "Mommy, when I was a baby, I did that too!" (example- when she sees a baby w/ a pacifier, she says, "Mommy, when I was a baby, I used a pacifier too." Even though she never used a pacifier.) So, I know Sophie would probably say, "Mommy, when I was a baby, I was in your tummy too!" That's why when I'm bigger and need to explain it to her, I will explain to her that she was special- that she didn't grow in my tummy, but she grew in my heart. Does anyone have any other ideas about this?

2. Will you find out if it's a boy or a girl? YES! And I can't wait! There is so much shopping and name choosing to do! My next ultrasound is in 6 days (Tues the 18th), and if the baby doesn't have his/her legs crossed like last time, we should find out then! I will post the result right away. I'm so excited for that moment (and no, I can't be talked out of it)!

3. Do you have any names picked out? Yes, although the boy names are harder for me. Maybe I will post our list to get some more input! Choosing names is SO much fun!

Again, thank you so much for all your kind wishes and for sharing your stories as well! I'm going to take a little time each day to visit everyone's blogs, and I'll also be posting here much more often and starting a pregnancy blog soon. Also, I may reopen Ollie's blog soon- because things in Guatemala seem to be settling down, and some recent photos I took of him are too cute not to share!

Hugs to all, Shana :)

So happy to announce (a little miracle)...

We are expecting a baby! Now that I am almost 13 weeks pregnant, I finally feel safe enough to make the announcement. :)

A little history...

I'll never forget the moment I knew I wanted to adopt from China... I was sitting in my highschool world history class feeling shocked and so saddened to learn of China's one-child policy, and especially sickened to see a slideshow including a magazine photo of seemingly unaffected business men walking by a fetus in one of China's crowded streets. That image still haunts me today, but I'm so thankful to have seen it; because that was the day I decided that no matter what, I would mother a baby girl born to another in China...

Almost 20 years later, the time had come to have my first child; and I found myself discussing my dream of China adoption with my husband, family, and friends. I also wanted to have a biological child, but I just knew in my heart that my first child would be my daughter from China. But because of I was nearing 35, everyone convinced me to try for a biological child first. I went off the pill and immediately got pregnant. It was so easy! I had not a care in the world and was over the moon excited; and of course, I was still planning to adopt from China for baby number #2. But much to my surprise, no heartbeat was to be found; and soonafter, I miscarried.
. .
Like anyone who experiences a miscarriage, I was devastated. But unlike the other women on my BabyCenter pregnancy board who had miscarried, I did NOT want to turn around and get pregnant again right away. Instead, the very day after I had my D&C, I drove to my homestudy agency and filled out the paperwork needed to begin our China adoption. It was just so obvious to me that I had been right all along- my first baby was being born China. And she would be waiting for me. Little did I know then that my precious Sophie Lu, the baby girl I had dreamt of, would be born just weeks after our loss.

After two years with our perfect and precious Sophie Lu, we decided to try for baby #2. (Although I did wonder how I could ever possibly love another child as much as I loved Sophie Lu- and I doubted that childbirth could be as magical as the moment Sophie was placed in my arms.) Again, pregancy came very quickly; and I was filled with hope knowing that the odds were that I would experience a normal, healthy 2nd pregancy. Sadly, I miscarried again. Another story for another time, but God then led us to our sweet Ollie. Soonafter we accepted his referral, I had my third miscarriage. It seemed clear to me then that I did in fact have a problem, so I went to a specialist. During our intake meeting, I noticed photos of my blond doctor with her Chinese daughter. Sure enough, she had adopted from China as well (and she used our same wonderful agency, USAA). When she learned of Sophie Lu and our impending adoption of Ollie, she seemed very confused as to why I would want a biological baby. I explained to her that biology means nothing to me, but that I wanted to experience pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and being a mom to a newborn. I couldn't believe what she said next, "Babies are over-rated!" Can you imagine? A fertility doctor saying such a thing... And after learning about her plans to biopsy my uterus, fill me with dye, and other such procedures, I decided to never see her again. I went back on the pill and focused on the Guatemalan process (which as many know was a very sad and discouraging time in our lives... but with a very positive outcome- our sweet Ollie Baby).

We didn't have plans for another child, so we were surprised to learn in January that I was pregnant for the 4th time. There were so many mixed emotions- excitement, disbelief, happiness, but most of all- fear. I had had 3 miscarriages, so what would or could be possibly different this time? Just like the other times, my first ultrasound was fine- everything seemed normal, but my blood tests revealed low progesterone. I had been on 100mg of progesterone with the last two pregnancies; but this time, my OB put me on 400mg daily. (Needless to say, I have been very very tired!) Also, I had been seeing an accupuncturist for quite some time. Believe it or not, I followed her advice and swore off alcohol and caffeine 3 months before I got pregnant (she also made me go off the pill as it was affecting my kidneys.) When she learned of my pregnancy, she said, "Don't worry- I'll take care of your baby. This time will be different- you will see." (Thank you, Dr. Kim!) Still, when it came time for my 6 week ultrasound, I was terrified as this was the ultrasound that "should" reveal a heartbeat. To my shock, there WAS a heartbeat! I was so excited, but still scared as I had seen a heartbeat during my 2nd pregnancy- only to find no heartbeat a week later. But now at 12 1/2 weeks, my little baby's heart is still beating strong... And I got to see hands and feet- even fingers and toes! I'm just so shocked- I can barely even believe it!

The perinatologist says there is only a 1% chance of miscarriage now, and my prior history no longer affects my odds. The bitterness I've felt over my miscarriages is finally starting to fade. I feel so blessed and so lucky. So very very lucky. After all, I got to experience the miracle of adoption; and soon, I will get to experience the miracle of birth. I am so thankful to God for giving me the clarity to know that my first-born was waiting in China, for making it possible for me to experience the miracle that is adoption, and for giving me this 4th chance and a healthy pregnancy. And I am very thankful to my wonderful husband Michael for believing in my dreams and for giving me the most beautiful family I could ever hope for.

Our baby is due on September 8, 2008 (Michael's 50th birthday)!

Ollie's blog...

As I recently explained on Ollie's blog, we have decided to close his blog- at least temporarily. This is due to a need for his privacy in light of the current situation in Guatemala involving our agency and Guatemalan facilitators. Thanks for the requests for invitations; however, we are not posting or issuing invitations at this time. I am currently trying to figure out a way to have a somewhat private blog or blogs without having to spend time I don't have managing invitations, etc. I wish I had the answers, but I will post when I do.

I also want to take this opportunity to share some wonderful news... the two "stolen girls" as described in the Prensa Libre newspaper articles have been found and reunited with their birthmother! This is thanks to my close friend Betsy's undying love for the girls (who were once referred to her) and to a wonderful organization in Guatemala that is now trying to find the stolen daughters (offered for international adoption) of 9 other mothers...

And on a very exciting side-note, our agency did NOT get Hague approved! Awww, justice is sweet! :)