"Of all the rights of women,
the greatest is to be a mother."
-- Lin Yutang
July 30, 2005
July 28, 2005
July 27, 2005
All About Sophie - One Month Update!!!
It has been exactly one month since our darling Sophie was placed in my arms! Time is already starting to pass so quickly...
I have heard for years about how having a baby changes your life... Yes, she has changed our lives so very much- We were happy before, but now we wake up with smiles every morning; and our days are filled with singing and laughter! Sophie is a blessing to our family, our home, and our marriage. She has added a whole new dimension and depth to the love I share with Michael; and she has brought a wonderful, new meaning and perspective to my life. Until now, I always felt like I was waiting for life; but now life is here, and my heart is full~
Today, Sophie Lu is exactly 14 months old; and while she is still behind developmentally, she continues to thrive and to learn new things every day! She is now pulling herself up (from on her back to sitting), throwing herself back down (I call this her "Nestea Plunge"), and starting to spend more time on her tummy in preparation for crawling. She can clap, wave bye bye, play peek-a-boo, and now finally- she can dance! She loves music, and her dancing is the cutest, funniest thing I've ever seen! Her favorite songs are Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and The Itsy Bitsy Spider! No matter what we are doing or how she is feeling, if I start to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, she starts to clap and giggles like crazy!
Sophie is happier, snugglier, and more loving each day! I love to watch her wake up in the mornings. She slowly opens her eyes, and when she sees me there, I get the sweetest, biggest smile ever! Then we snuggle, I give her a little baby massage, and kiss her from head to toe before we start our day. Then it's morning kisses for Daddy and a walk down to the market and to get coffee before breakfast. And of course, no morning is complete without the "Good Morning Sophie" song! Mornings are my favorite part of the day!
Sophie eats everything, and has successfully transitioned to organic whole milk. She drinks two bottles a day, and I still always make sure to hold her bottle and look into her eyes while feeding. She softly plays with my hair and makes the sweetest little sounds while she drinks her bottle. These quiet, special times are priceless and continue to help strengthen our attachment.
We so very much appreciate our friends and families' understanding and and respect for our wishes and have enjoyed this all important "cocooning" time alone with Sophie. Forming an exclusive attachment with Sophie is crucial to normal emotional development. (Attachment is defined as the emotional bond between parents and child which survives over time.) It will allow her to develop trust in others and herself; and it will provide a secure base for her exploration and growth. She needs to have her needs met in a loving, consistent way; and she needs routines and nurturing activities to promote healthy attachment. We will plan some time soon for everyone to meet Sophie, but as I mentioned before- we will continue to be the only ones to hold her, feed her, and comfort her. :)
We will post more photos of Sophie very soon! Thank you to the many many people who have sent sweet emails, loving comments, and well wishes about Sophie and our website. And congratulations to several families who have opened their hearts to the idea of China adoption, or who have finalized their decision to adopt after reading our story- YOU have made my sleepless nights at the computer worthwhile, and I feel so honored to have been part of your inspiration! You are so lucky that your lives will lead you to the most amazing experience and the most wonderful gift- your baby who awaits you in China~
July 21, 2005
July 18, 2005
July 15, 2005
Sophie's Laugh
Sophie has the softest, sweetest little laugh! I think she could make just about anyone smile...
Kisses for Kitty!
Sophie loves stuffed animals- especially soft puppets. Here she meets Miss Kitty, and right after this shot- she gave Miss Kitty the sweetest kisses! Wait until she meets Miss Bunny- the other puppet Grandma Rae bought her!
Love my Lamby!
She can't quite sit in it yet, but Sophie loves the super soft Lamby that Auntie Lynn gave her!
But, don't put me in that crib!
Sophie still shrieks when she gets near her crib. Between Mommy and Daddy is what she prefers! She makes up the cutest games with us. Lately, she reaches over and touches my mouth until I kiss her fingers- then she turns to her right and does the same thing to Daddy! She makes us take turns kissing her hand until she finally falls asleep~ It is the cutest thing!
Finally, shoes to go with those dresses!
We bought lots of pretty shoes for Sophie in China! Looks like she is going to need a bigger shoe rack!
Waiting for Gentlemen Callers...
One day, Sophie will wait in this parlour for her gentlemen callers... (when she is allowed to start dating in about 30 years or so)!
Sophie's Dr. Visit
Yesterday, Sophie had her first appointment with her new doctor. I had been warned by my mommy friends how traumatic it would be, but nothing could prepare me for this kind of pain. Knowing that I couldn't handle it and would cry and probably faint, I waited in the hall while Michael and the technician held her down for her shots and blood draws. I have never heard Sophie cry like she did- so loud and so hard. It broke my heart, and I cried and cried until I heard the technician finally say they were finished. I rushed in to see my little sweetheart all red-faced and tear stricken- screaming as she reached out to me. I held her so close and tried to comfort her, and soon she stopped crying. It was awful, awful, awful. I worried that she wouldn't trust me again, and poor Michael worried that she would think that he did this to her... We took her home, gave her some vanilla ice cream, and snuggled with her until she fell asleep. Tomorrow will be a better day. :)
July 12, 2005
Hold me!
Sophie loves to be held- and I love holding her! It is such an incredible feeling to see my daughter reaching up for me. Really, neither one of us can get enough of her!
Okay- What IS this thing on my head??
Sophie still prefers to be hatless! In my effort to keep her awake, we took her for a stroll in the sunshine; so she had to wear a hat to keep the sun out of her precious face!
Sleepy Eyes- Still on China Time!
Sophie just wants to sleep all day and play all night! So does Mommy! Hmmmm... maybe I should have done this in my 20's!!!
Birdies!
Sophie got so excited when she saw some birds- that she screamed and scared them all away! She has the same effect on the kitties!
Ballroom Baby!
Sophie in the ballroom (yet to be furnished)! She thought it was fun to scream, "Ba Ba Ba!" and hear herself echo!
Sophie in the Entry Hall!
We have been trying to slowly introduce Sophie to all the rooms in her new home! Here she is in the front entry hall- looking out to the fountain and all the birdies!
July 09, 2005
I See a Kitty!
After spending so much time in hotel rooms, crowded buses and restaurants, I promised Sophie that we would play outside in her new backyard! Here, she just got her first glimpse of our wonderfully patient kitty, Alex!
Our American Girl!!!
We all clapped (and some of us cried) when each family passed through the line as our daughters' visas were stamped! This is our first family photo with our American Girl! It feels so good to be home~
July 07, 2005
USA or Bust!!!
Miss Sophie Lu Yushan will be an American citizen the moment her visa is stamped at the airport in Los Angeles! Once again, we thank The People's Republic of China for the amazing experience and for allowing us to bring our daughter home. Most of the local Chinese citizens have been very kind and loving toward us- saying, "Lucky baby!" or "Thank you for loving Chinese baby girl!" But one man in the elevator took one look at me holding Sophie and said harshly, "China... boy." He pointed to her and repeated, "China... BOY!" At that, I politely smiled, kissed her on the head and said, "America... GIRL!"
Coming Home!
Dear Family & Friends,
We have had such an amazing time in China, and our departure is bittersweet. Still, we are so glad to be flying home tonight! We are looking forward to introducing Sophie to The United States of America, and to her new home.
We know that everyone will be anxious to meet Sophie, and we also look forward to visiting with family and friends; however, we kindly ask for your understanding and support during our first few months at home. We have a long trip, jet lag, and a big transition and adjustment period ahead of us. Sophie also has medical tests and vaccination appointments which we know will be traumatic for her. We promise to let you know when we are ready for visitors, and we really appreciate your understanding our wishes.
Based on the advice of our pediatrician and adoption/attachment specialists, we will continue the parenting style that has worked so miraculously with Sophie here in China so far. In the best interest of proper attachment and bonding with Sophie, Michael and I will continue to be the only ones to hold her, change her, and feed her. We realize that this will be hard for some. No one knows that better than Grandma Rae who didn't even hold or feed Sophie once during our two weeks here. She has been very patient and knows her time will come; after all we had to wait a very long time to hold our daughter as well. Sophie has blossomed and is well on her way to a healthy attachment with us, but it is imperative that we continue what is already working so well. When the time is right for family and friends to visit, Sophie will be able to play and interact; and in due time she will be ready for holding and hugs too!
We love you all so much, and we are touched by all the well wishes and support we have received!
Kisses from China!
Love,
Michael, Shana & Sophie
We have had such an amazing time in China, and our departure is bittersweet. Still, we are so glad to be flying home tonight! We are looking forward to introducing Sophie to The United States of America, and to her new home.
We know that everyone will be anxious to meet Sophie, and we also look forward to visiting with family and friends; however, we kindly ask for your understanding and support during our first few months at home. We have a long trip, jet lag, and a big transition and adjustment period ahead of us. Sophie also has medical tests and vaccination appointments which we know will be traumatic for her. We promise to let you know when we are ready for visitors, and we really appreciate your understanding our wishes.
Based on the advice of our pediatrician and adoption/attachment specialists, we will continue the parenting style that has worked so miraculously with Sophie here in China so far. In the best interest of proper attachment and bonding with Sophie, Michael and I will continue to be the only ones to hold her, change her, and feed her. We realize that this will be hard for some. No one knows that better than Grandma Rae who didn't even hold or feed Sophie once during our two weeks here. She has been very patient and knows her time will come; after all we had to wait a very long time to hold our daughter as well. Sophie has blossomed and is well on her way to a healthy attachment with us, but it is imperative that we continue what is already working so well. When the time is right for family and friends to visit, Sophie will be able to play and interact; and in due time she will be ready for holding and hugs too!
We love you all so much, and we are touched by all the well wishes and support we have received!
Kisses from China!
Love,
Michael, Shana & Sophie
July 06, 2005
July 05, 2005
"It's Shana's Baby"
I was surprised to see this photo in Cami's journal! It is a picture of Sophie lying on the bed in the holding room just before she was handed to us... I love the caption!
Camie and Her Scrapbook!
This is Cami! She and her sister Kylie have been so much fun on this trip- not to mention, they are adorable! Cami showed us the scrapbook she has been making of her China Trip. Some of the captions are very cute!
Let's make some noise!
.
One of the store owners on Shamian Island gave this tom tom toy to Sophie yesterday. She laughs so hard when I shake it and turn around in circles!
July 04, 2005
Three Girls, One Baloon!
Tonight we went to a party in Uncle Norman's suite with all the families in our group. These are Sophie's friends, Tessa and Stella! Actually, we affectionately refer to all of our girls as cousins, and to each other as Aunties and Uncles.
With Auntie Nicole & Cousin Jenna!
It is so wonderful to finally be with Nicole in person! We have been emailing, instant chatting, and talking on the phone for almost a year now! We have become the best of friends, and our girls will forever share a special sisterhood. I see some trips to Tennessee in our future!
A Blessing for Sophie
This monk offered a special blessing for all of our babies. He blessed them and prayed for them to enjoy luck, happiness, and long lives. He also prayed to keep the devils and all evil far away...
Mommy Befriends a Buddhist Monk!
This monk was kind enough to pose for a photo with us, and he loved seeing the photo on my digital camera!
Daddy Burns Three Sticks of Incense!
Daddy was so sweet to buy enough incense to share three sticks with every person in our group! Here he is offering his incense to Buddha for good luck!
My Lucky Coin Made it!
We were all given the chance to throw a lucky coin into the hole at the top of this incense burner... To everyone's great surprise, I made it on the first try! Of course, I didn't need this to tell me how lucky I am!
Six Banyon Temple Blessing
We were lucky to visit the Six Banyon Temple so all of our babies could be blessed by a Buddhist monk. This is the entrance to the main temple, built in 539!!!
July 03, 2005
In the air at last!
After we finally did take off, Sophie slept the entire flight! My legs also fell asleep!
Airport Closed Again! Stuck on the Plane!
This is what my friend Faith and I think of our newest delay!!!
Finally! Sophie's First Flight!
After being prepared to be taken to a local hotel for the night, our plane was finally given clearance! I look pretty after 10 hours at the airport, huh? I can't believe I am even posting this picture!
Seven Hour Delay at the Airport!
The storms were so bad in Chengdu that they closed the aiport, and our flight was delayed for 7 hours. Since it was only supposed to be a 2 hour trip, most of us didn't pack enough diapers, formula, etc. for the babies. Everyone shared and helped care for each other- We all feel like one big family! Still... we were stuck at the airport for a total of 10 hours!
July 02, 2005
July 01, 2005
My New Dress!
Sophie is fascinated by her referral picture. Everyone else is fascinated with the transformation- She is such a pretty little girl in her baby pink dress- so far from the solemn girl in the oversized lumberjack coat...
Dress Shopping!
Today is our last day in Chengdu, the provincial capital of Sichuan. This is such a beautiful city; we wish we could stay much longer. So while Sophie took her morning nap, I snuck out for a 30 minute whirlwind shopping spree! It's amazing how much I thought of her while I shopped, and I literally ran back to the hotel to make certain I was there when she awoke. She was still sleeping like a little angel!
As She Sleeps...
As she sleeps, I just watch over her and think about how very very lucky we are- and how thankful we are to the country of China, our daughter's birthland.
A Dose of Reality
Hearing of my friends' visits to their babies' orphanage has left me very sad. I have been on such a high- and then all at once, I was hit with this dose of reality. Most orphanages in China are closed to the public. I have heard that the orphanages open to visitors are the "showcase" orphanages- the most clean and modern. When my friend heard that her baby was from this one, she was so excited- because it has such a great reputation. We can only wonder what the closed orphanages are like. Sophie's is one of them.
While these parents now know for certain how and where their babies have been living and sleeping for the first part of their lives, I will never really know about Sophie. While we have heard that our small group of babies from her orphanage received foster care (and I did meet the foster mother), we are all very skeptical of the truth and also the quality of care. At 13 months, Sophie is the youngest. Yet none of them are crawling or walking (except a 2 year old boy) in our group. Most of them have very flat heads in the back- and are very uncomfortable being on their tummies. We think they were left on their backs in their hard cribs much of the time. Many of us were surprised at how inaccurate the information we had been given about our daughters was. Measurements way off, development reports incorrect, and less teeth than reported 7 months ago. We were all given tiny photo albums with pictures of our girls. Every scene was outside the orphanage. Also- most of our babies showed no affection toward their "foster mothers" while they were here. Michael thought Sophie's foster mother was very cold and he said he saw no love in her eyes for Sophie. I don't think we can assume this, and I prefer to think she did love her and just had different ways of showing it. For instance, Sophie has obviously been well fed, and she was wearing new red shoes when she was handed to me. However, the note given to me from the foster mother was very disturbing. She said Sophie needed to be left in her crib by herself. She said she should be fed by a spoon- not a bottle. She said if Sophie cries, it is only because she needs food or to be changed. She said she likes sitting in the stroller. She said that Sophie doesn't like to be held...
Orphanage- Babies in Cribs
Here are some of the babies that were left behind at this orphanage (hopefully some will soon have homes...). There are no toys, no soft places to play, and only a tiny area for activities out of the crib. It looks like most of their time is spent in their cribs... Not only does this explain our babies' heads being flat in the back, but also why most of them can't roll over, crawl, or walk- even the ones who are 16-19 months old in our group. While I am so glad Sophie and her cousins in our group are with their forever families now, I have a broken heart for the thousands and thousands who will never know a mother's love or belong to a real family. Please please pray with me for those left behind...
No mattress... no pillow
For the past 10 months, this crib belonged to my group member's baby. Her husband visited her orphanage yesterday and was shown where she slept. When asked about the board for a mattress, they were told that bedding makes the babies too hot. (but you have seen how many layers of clothing these babies are dressed in...) ? We have also heard that it is to help control scabies, lice, etc. with so many (hundreds in some cases) babies in the orphanage. It is no wonder our babies all have flat heads... It was so hard for me to see this (particularly because this baby's mother and I have become the best of friends over the past 10 months), and I am more thankful than ever that all of our babies are now safe, cozy, and warm. And very very much loved~
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